I missed Little Lord Fauntleroy’s address to the faithful, but it appears I did not miss a new strategy for growth. So that’s two years in a row on that front, Gideon.
It is heartening, however, to hear that despite being the most unpopular Chancellor since Norman Lamont, and the most incompetent Chancellor since, er, sorry Norman … Ozzie has not lost his sense of humour.
Did you hear the one about how he justified his and the government’s growing unpopularity when he spoke to the Tory conference this morning? …
‘I’d rather have these difficulties because we’re tackling these big challenges, than wake up like Tony Blair did, after a decade in power and discover he didn’t achieve anything.’
Er … now, where do we start with that one Georgie Boy?
Bank of England independence, anyone?
Scottish Parliament (after a hundred years of trying by others), Welsh Assembly?
End of Milosevic, and of Saddam?
Peace in Northern Ireland?
Biggest hospital and school building programme since the foundation of the welfare state?
Securing the Olympics for London?
Huge boost in aid for Africa, writing off 100 per cent debt of poorest countries?
Record levels of literacy and numeracy in schools?
Child benefit increases?
Winter fuel payment and free TV licences for pensioners?
Cleanest rivers, beaches, drinking water and air since before the industrial revolution?
Free breast cancer screening for all women aged between 50-70?
The New Deal which helped over 1.8 million people into work?
Free entry to national museums and galleries?
Heart disease deaths down by 150,000 and cancer deaths down by 50,000?
Cutting long-term youth unemployment by 75 per cent?
Free nursery places for every three and four-year-old?
I could go on and on and on, but will leave it there for now.
Over to Gideon and his pals to tell me what similar achievements they have so far to their name.
A few starters ..
Election wins … zero.
Economic targets met … zero.
Likelihood of meeting strategic goal of deficit being reduced in single Parliament … zero.
Reputation for competence … oh, I’d better stop now, you get the point. Over to you.