When marriage is tested

It has been interesting to see what kind of twittering or Facebook status updating provokes the most intense responses. Blogging about Boris and the F word started a lively debate. The stuff I did last week on mental health likewise. But football remains the Number 1 talking point for the nation I would say.  As I checked on my emails last night, I did a status update saying I was thinking of going to tonight's Arsenal v Cardiff match at the Emirates, and wondering whether Burnley fans would see this as adulterous. I know one does not technically or legally marry a football club but I have been with Burnley longer than I have been with Fiona (47 and 29 years since first sighting respectively).  Indeed when I was discussing the design for the website, the first decisions were that there should be a claret and blue colour system and Burnley FC should be on the links page. So it is important to me that nobody misinterprets my presence at a Burnley-less match. I pointed out, in a piece of prebuttal which seemed to do the trick with some fellow Clarets, that as Burnley play the winners in the next round, and since our manager cannot attend as he is preparing the squad for tomorrow's match v Coventry, I could justify the trip as an unpaid scouting mission. I could phone Owen Coyle tomorrow and say intelligent things, like Arsenal are good going forward, that van Persie looks tasty, Cardiff like to get it out wide and they look a bit shaky at the back. I had been thinking for a while about going tonight. It really is a beautiful stadium, which I usually see from ground level cycling round and round it when training on my bike (lovely surface). It is also the one closest to our home, virtually a walk compared with the eight hours driving I clock up for Burnley games. And I thought it might be fun to wind up Arsenal fans over our 2-0 win over them in the Carling Cup.  Then on Saturday, who should I bump into at Burnley v Wolves but Cardiff chairman Peter Ridsdale? I thought if he can play away when his team's not in action, so can I. Then when he said Neil Kinnock was going on Monday and did I fancy joining them, the temptation grew. Neil is a big Cardiff fan. He has been to a fair few Burnley games with me, and the fans took to him as a lucky mascot because we always seemed to win.  Yet still, something was holding me back. Perhaps the status update was a subconscious cry for help and advice. Could I do this? Could I go on a Monday to see two rival teams knowing that because of a prior political engagement on Tuesday I would not see my own? The advice was mixed. But on balance it seemed to be saying I should go. Then came the clincher. Fiona reminded me that she is out tonight. Indeed, she is going away for the night, filming for a TV programme in Northern Ireland.  So I thought sod it, if that's the way yo u're going to behave, expecting me to look after myself and make my own dinner, I'm going to run off with another football club. Suddenly corporate hospitality in the Emirates boardroom seemed not only right, but the best way of getting a square meal tonight. Burnley till I die. On a full stomach. Scouting report to follow. Marked private, Owen Coyle's eyes only.