Even top Tories think Dave and Co can’t do piss up in a brewery

  • Post

  • 27 November 2009

  • Posted by Alastair Campbell

  • 7

Can't wait to see what prominence the Dave C fanzines give to the views of Mr Stephen Greenhalgh in the morning press. This is the man who suggested that the inexperience of the current shadow cabinet is so serious that they have not even run a piss up in a brewery. So what, you say, I hear that kind of thing all the time. Yes, maybe you do. But Mr Greenhalgh is what is known as a 'top Tory' by dint of his position as leader of Hammersmith and Fulham Council. But he's even topper than that. He is head of the Conservative councils' innovation unit, and his policies and ideas have been picked out for special praise by shadow chancellor George Osborne. Yet in his comments, Greenhalgh seems to think Osborne's inexperience is perhaps most worrying of all of them. 'My mates are all in the shadow Cabinet, waiting to get those [ministerial] boxes, being terribly excited,' he told a round table discussion. 'I went to university with them, they haven¹t run a piss-up in a brewery... they¹re going to get a department of state, in one case running the finances of the nation.' He doesn't exactly sound terribly confident about George's abilities, does he? Who said all Tories were out of touch with the real world. Greenhalgh pointed to other countries, such as France and the US, where members of the government had typically served at a regional level earlier in their careers. 'If you¹re going to fail, fail running Alabama, fail running Texas, fail running the city of Paris,' he said. 'Don¹t just take over the country.' Well at least Boris was listening as he goes around failing to run London. Of course as a few people have said on my Facebook and twitter pages, TB, GB and Co were very inexperienced pre 1997. But most of the British public did at least have a fair idea about who they were. Not just Blair, Brown, Prescott and the ones we used to call 'the Big Guns,' but quite a number of shadow cabinet members were pretty long serving and had at least set out a stack of policy to the public. I was in a cab - sorry I would have got the tube but I had luggage and was late - when I heard about Greenhalgh's comments. I asked the cabbie if he could name any members of the Tory top team. He knew Cameron. He knew William Hague. And he knew 'Osmond'. (I was too polite to correct him). And he knew that a new portrait had just been painted of Mrs T. Now there was someone who knew how to run a piss up in a brewery. At least I assume the person who organised the privatisation of the railways was pissed at the time.

7 responses to “Even top Tories think Dave and Co can’t do piss up in a brewery”

  1. Once the nasty party always the nasty party – it’ll only be a matter of time before they start ripping into each other in the way Greenhalgh already has, or even more dramatically over Europe. They won’t be able to keep their true natures muted for long. Give them enough rope…..

  2. Re the prominence — rather less than if a Labour council leader said the same of Gordon Brown and his team.

  3. Did you put the words ‘organised’ and ‘rail privatisation’ in the same sentence? Shurely shome mishtake as dear old Denis would have said

  4. Interesting to hear the observations of Greenhalgh. Really think that the main figures of the Tories are all style and no substance. I truly believe they will unravel before May.

  5. Be interesting to see what prominence the Alastair C fanzines give to this quote I found on a blog yesterday. (Or did a taxi driver say it?)

    “Alistair Campbells comments don’t surprise me at all unfortunately. From day one, he and New Labour, have played a cynical bare-faced trick which bamboozled people for years. It involves claiming firmly and unashamedly that other people are doing what they are actually doing. It’s psychologically sinister, dangerously effective, hugely irresponsible and has corroded the heart of our democracy.”

    Will they print it? Let’s just say I’m not holding my breath!

  6. I am a student at university level and i wanted to know all the names of the spin doctors that Gordon Brown has hired during his term …
    Thank you

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The Battle for the Arctic

One of the most important political issues of our time - the battle for the Arctic. Why is Russia so dominant there? Why does Trump really want Greenland? And why is Climate Change right at the heart ... Continue

13 February 2026

500. Japan, China, and the Fight for Taiwan (Question Time)

Are Japan and China closer to conflict over Taiwan, after the landslide victory for Japan's 'Iron Lady', Sanae Takayichi? Does Trump’s crumbling American-Hispanic vote explain his extreme reaction t... Continue

12 February 2026

Alastair Campbell’s diary: Am I still a friend of Peter Mandelson? It’s complicated

I find it hard to think he didn’t hear and see things that made him feel he had to get Epstein out of his life... Continue

11 February 2026

499. Is It Game Over for Starmer?

As Starmer begins to lose his key aides and allies, is his departure from Number 10 now a matter of when, not if? Is the UK actually becoming ungovernable? Will the latest revelations about the level ... Continue

9 February 2026

I’m sleepless, angry and anxious over this – and I know I’m not alone

Editor-at-large Alastair Campbell on the reaction to the Mandelson affair, the calls for Starmer to go, and what happens to this government - and the United Kingdom - next... Continue

9 February 2026

175. Ex-Director of GCHQ: China, Russia, and the Threats Facing the UK (Jeremy Fleming)

Do Russia or China represent a bigger risk to UK national security? Why are we underestimating the threat posed by cybercriminals? Who holds the real power - ministers or spies? Rory and Alastair are... Continue

9 February 2026

498. Alastair Reacts to Starmer-Mandelson Turmoil

How should the government and politics as a whole respond to the latest revelations about the scale of Epstein's influence, and Mandelson's abuse of power? If Starmer goes, who and what comes next? Do... Continue

8 February 2026

174. Taking On Europe’s Last Dictator: The Fight Against Lukashenko and Putin

How did Sviatlana Tsikhanouskaya go from being a housewife to leading a Belarussian government in exile? How did Aleksandr Lukashenko become the last dictator in Europe? Why was Segei, Sviatlana’s h... Continue

6 February 2026